Organoids are tiny organs grown in labs by scientists using stem cells, with the purpose of eventually being used in medicine--or at least, super-cool horror movies. Now a team of scientists have taken it to a new level with “Luther,” a large cranial organoid who has grown “optic cups,” and a tiny mouth-hole. Even more dazzling, the celebrity specimen already seems familiar with the concept, and search for, kind bud.

"The mammalian brain depends on nerve fibers made of retinal ganglion cells, reaching out to connect and transmit information, something we’ve never witnessed in an in vitro system," Barbara Zrjkle of University Hospital Istanbowl told Dispatches. “And this one is clearly searching for some stanky dank.”

Right from the start, the tiny, the humanoid eye bubbles, attached by goopy fibers, began looking to land a satchel, according to scientists on the scene, whose report was recently published in National Science Bee. Luther’s optic cups watched with curiosity as the researchers smaked spliffs during breaks, “ever the more intensely when the joint was passed right in front of him, effectively skipping him in the circle.” The globules continued to glance furtively all over the room, serenely resting whenever they came to a nearby cannabis plant. 

“This brain is jones’n pretty hard," wrote Willy Finket, associate researcher.

Later on, Finket led the charge to move the growing brain mass into a large tank; although meant to be airtight by design and filled with purified saline solution, it wasn’t long before it resembled a neglected aquarium, 75% full of algae and garbage. Still, an attached camera was able to catch the organoid depressingly knocking itself against the glass each time the scientists powered up their eNails to dab. 

Finally, after the brain seemed to shut down in a depressive state for several months, the researchers devised a new experiment, in which the tank was converted to a large gravity bong, forcing the scientists’ gigantic plumes through the organoid’s opaque solution. The optic cups, which by then had grown to full size, turned a bloodshot red, while the mouthhole, still a pinprick, turned up at the corners in what could only be described as a “puerile grin.”

The results were considered immaterial at first, until the faint bubbles, or tiny boops coming from the miniscule mouth, were recorded and edited into full sounds, and then, words. “When pitch-corrected to resemble a real coherent person, it turns out little Luther is speaking what sounds like Italian!” Zrjkle concluded. “Nobody’s been able to translate it yet, but he sure is happy!” 

“From what we do understand, he also keeps asking for pizza pie,” she said.

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It’s a special (or maybe just regular ol’) night and you're thinking of picking up something special to bring home and smoke with your friends. 

One of the easier options for you to bring to smoke is a pre-roll joint. 

There are a lot of benefits to pre-rolls. 

A pre-roll joint is affordable, disposable, and can be easily shared. 

But there’s just one problem: Pre-rolls aren’t seen as a quality product. 

They are seen as low-quality cannabis. 

But why? The quality really varies a lot from dispensary to dispensary. 

Some use high-quality buds while others use shake or trim (a combination of stems, buds, and other plant materials).

So, are pre rolls worth it, or are they just getting rid of the ditch weed?

What Exactly Is A Pre-Roll?

Simply put, pre-rolls are joints that have been rolled ahead of time for you. 

A regular pre-roll is made up of cannabis, rolling paper, and a small filter or crutch at the end. Sometimes pre-rolls can include other cannabis products to increase the THC potency.

Many pre-roll joints contain awesomely fresh, ground-up buds. 

Pre-roll cannabis often contains shake, AKA what accumulates at the bottom of marijuana jars. High-quality marijuana provides an amazing experience. 

Unlike with bowls or bongs, purchasing a pre-roll does not require any other equipment except a lighter.

The Benefits of a Pre-Rolled Joint

Don’t pass on the pre-packed puff! There are many reasons pre rolls are worth it!

Pre Rolls are Convenient

A huge benefit of a pre-roll is that it’s incredibly convenient. 

A pre-roll is ready to go right out of the tube. 

No work and no mess for you. 

Their convenience also offers major benefits to medical users whose condition might make it difficult for them to roll joints themselves or pack a bowl. 

Pre Rolls are Affordable

Often in cannabis, prices for high-quality buds/equipment to smoke from can be crazy. 

Pre-rolls are much more affordable and can be bought in singles.

It’s also a great way to try different kinds of strains. The weed is taken from the same jar, we promise! 

Pre Rolls are Portable

Pre-rolls are discreet and easy to transport from place to place. 

No need to carry anything else but a lighter. 

Ditch the tube in the trash/recycle and ditch the crutch of the joint when you’re done.

No glass, no torch, no problem! 

How To Spot A Quality Pre-Roll

We have looked at what makes a low-quality pre-roll but how do you spot a quality one? 

Smell it: Your nose is a great pre-roll detector. It will tell you a lot. If not sealed, twist open and smell it. If you can smell terpenes and thick aromas, you can expect great things

Look At the Maker: Take a look at the label. Companies like Flower Collective, Willie’s Reserve, and Kaviar won’t risk their reputation by selling underrated pre-rolls. 

Cut it open: Before buying a bunch of specific pre-rolls, consider buying one and cutting it open. Ideally, you should find ground buds and little to no stems/other plant material.

Downsides of the Pre-Roll Life

Pre-rolls may have some great aspects, but like with everything also have their downsides. Here are a couple of disadvantages associated with buying pre-rolls.

Mystery Weed

Not being able to always be able to look at the joint may make things “interesting”. For those who aren’t strain-specific, give it a go.

If a certain strain makes you paranoid, best to stay away. 

Old Product

Some dispensaries use shake and various plant material to fill their pre-rolls. 

Some might even mix in some older product (I’ve seen this happen first hand). 

You’ll typically not know how old it is.

However, with Colorado’s quality of weed available, even shake and “older” weed is still very good quality.

In the end, be your own judge. 

People might try to scare you away from pre-rolls, but for many, pre-rolls are an extremely viable option. 

So, whether or not pre-rolls are worth it for you is a matter of opinion. 

Get out there and try some!

Each dispensary is different, too.

Deals On Pre-Rolls In Denver

Rocky Mountain High has 4 locations spread around Denver

Current deals for pre-rolls include:

• 4 .5 gram pre-rolls for $10

RiverRock has a location in downtown Denver

Current deals on pre-rolls are:

• 5 pack of joint for $12.50

Just about any/every dispensary in Denver and in Colorado is going to have some deals on pre rolls, so go and ask your local budtender!

Happy toking, bud!

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There are many health benefits of THCV, but for those wanting to consume cannabis in other ways, edibles are a good option. Here, we break down what THCV is and we talk about how THCV edibles might be the perfect option you're looking for.

What is THCV?

THCV is a cannabinoid. 

THC and CBD are also cannabinoids but if you’re like most people, you may have never heard of this specific cannabinoid. 

While it is similar in chemical structure to THC or Tetrahydrocannabinol, the effects it can have on the body are much different. 

THCV has a less psychoactive release in the brain than THC. 

People who use THCV report having more energy, less appetite, and feeling less lethargic than consuming something with higher THC. 

This is because the way our bodies are able to process cannabinoids is through our own Endocannabinoid system or (ECS). 

THCV, THC, and CBD all innervate with receptors in the ECS differently which produces the different reactions we have to consume them.  The ECS helps to regulate our physical and mental well-being, appetites, sleep schedules, even hormones can be affected.

Where is THCV Found?

Certain strains have more THCV than others. 

Most of those strains that possess this unique Cannabinoid come from long-grown, native or landrace, sativa strains found near and around Africa and the Middle East. 

Through strain selective breeding and more advanced growing techniques, growers today have been able to isolate and enhance the levels of THCV in plants today. 

This is great news for weed science and those that can use THCV for health benefits!! 

By being able to isolate individual compounds such as THCV we are able to better explore the different health benefits they can offer from one another.

Here's a list of some strains to check out with potent levels of THCV:

• Durban Poison
• Doug’s Varin
• Pineapple Purps
• Durban Cheese
• Skunk #1

What Are the Health Benefits of THCV?

THCV is being explored to help treat many different treatments for different health issues. 

THCV has different effects on the body than those of other members of the cannabinoid family.

Decreased Appetite

Unlike THC, THCV is proven to suppress one's appetite. When taken in small doses (5-10 mg) THCV has been shown to decrease the want to eat food.

In one study by the Journal of Neuropsychopharmacology the results showed a consistent decrease in appetite.  This could be used for people trying to lose weight or control urges to eat.

Diabetes and Glucose Control

THCV has also been shown in early tests to help with the body’s ability to control and manage glucose absorption through a study done on mice with Type Diabetes 2. 

Seizures and Epilepsy

With the wider acceptance of Cannabis use to treat serious medical issues in the recent decades, one prominent use has been the treatment of tremors and seizures due to diseases such as ALS, Parkinson's disease, and multiple sclerosis. 

THCV has also been shown to help reduce and control seizures associated with epilepsy.  In this study THCV was looked at independently to treat seizures. There has been much promising research in the field in the past 10 years. 

Here is another study on cannabinoids that looks at multiple cannabinoids working together to treat seizures and uncontrolled tremors.

Inflammation

The list just keeps growing in positive medical benefits with THCV.  This study shows how THCV can be effective in relieving inflammation in mice. 

With the health benefits of THCV, add those to some of the healthiest ways to consume marijuana and you're set!

Options for Consuming THCV 

As mentioned earlier in the blog, there are certain strains that have higher levels of THCV than others. 

But what if you aren’t able to find those stains at your local dispensary or your local grower decided to grow a different crop this run than your favorite THCV strain? 

Fear not! There are other methods for consuming THCV!

One of our favorites is through edibles. Yes, THCV EDIBLES!

We love this method because the effects you’ll experience will last longer and be more sustained than just smoking. 

Check out our deals on edibles in your area on our homepage.  

If you want to check out THCV in its purest form, we recommend a full THCV exclusive extract.  

While THCV is much more expensive to extract due to lower levels of it found in plant biomass, the process is largely the same.

Like other cannabinoids, THCV is extracted through a chromatography process that uses superfluid liquid solvents such as CO2 or ethanol to separate the compounds from the plant.

The solution is then evaporated with heat under a vacuum to remove all the gas and leave a high-purity THCV concentrate behind. Once extracted, THCV products should be stored at room temperature and away from direct sunlight to preserve potency.

THCV Edibles

While it may take more flower to extract a good amount of THCV, the process of isolating this cannabinoid for edibles has a great perk. 

The boiling point of THCV is 428 degrees F with the boiling point of THC being 315 degrees F.  That’s a full 113 degrees F difference between the two cannabinoids. 

Essentially, you just have to boil off your unwanted THC and you’ll be left with a higher THCV end result. 

The downside to this is that most terpenes are boiled off at far lower levels than either THC or THCV so you won’t really be left with any of those tasty treats. 

If what you’re after is pure THCV though, you’re in luck.

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I don't even know where to begin with this review. I am that in LOVE with this unit.

This is beyond "so easy a Squirrel can do it". Heck, even a Sloth could handle it just as easily too. The set up, processing and even the clean up is simple, fast and easy to do. No worries about finding the clean-up chore to be such an ordeal that your brain switches to procrastination mode.

Pros:

• Easy to use - Temp and time presets is what I used for all of my tincture batches.
• Clean up takes under 5 minutes.
• Doesn't take up a lot of counter space.
• Lots of color choices.
• A ton of accessories you can buy to make edibles (which I did not purchase, yet)

Cons:

• Leaks a little while infusing and when you release the reservoir to clean.
• Marijuana smell is present, not as bad as it would be with other methods, but you can still smell it.
• Nothing to compress all the oil out of the flower.

Why You NEED This Machine:

I think we can all agree, while smoking herb has a lot of benefits, it also has some health risks too. Especially if you are like me and have COPD. With smoking the relief is instant and strain-specific. This isn't the case with most edibles, tablets or tinctures you buy pre-made.

Frankly when I started thinking about what products I wanted to review, I really had my doubts about tinctures. I had tried tinctures from several of my dispensaries and the results were too unpredictable. So I gave up and switched to dry-herb vaping instead.

Honestly I almost lost hope at doing any edibles at all.

I knew one of the biggest problems with dispensary-purchased tinctures is that they weren't typically strain-specific. For whatever reason most of them tasted absolutely horrible as well. There also seemed to be differences in the amount of time it would take for the effects to kick in per batch, probably due to the non-specific strains used.

With the Levo you are in control of what strains you put in. For me, the only time I might make tinctures that are not strain specific would be when using the stock of kief that I've been carefully saving. Honestly, I'm torn on whether to use my kief this way, totally conflicted. I love combining my flower, concentrate and kief in my DaVinci stainless steel .3g pods when I need extra pain relief. It's my lazy Squirrel "moonrocks" (technically I guess I should call them "moonpods").

After trying strain-specific tinctures I am completely and totally sold on the idea of using tinctures over smoke.

In the last 3 days I have used my vaporizer only once. It was only because I needed immediate relief verses 10-20 minutes of waiting for a tincture to kick in.

In A Nutshell:

The Levo, IMHO is a must have for any cannabis user.  Having strain-specific tinctures is extremely beneficial since different strains treat different problems. Different strains also have different onset times. If a strain is a creeper when smoked, it will most likely be a creeper in a tincture as well.

You can use different oils depending on your taste preference. You can even use butter if you want to bake edibles instead of making just tinctures. Just make sure if you are making tinctures, you don't buy the wrong oil.

I sent my son, Thing 1 out to the store to get coconut oil and he came back with organic raw coconut oil, which was solid. It will turn liquid if stored above 76°. What you need to buy if making tinctures is fractionated coconut oil. I prefer this oil because it doesn't have much taste. Other oils people recommend (but I haven't tried yet) are sunflower and hemp oil.

Personally, I think hemp oil would make it taste more suitable for a goat--but that's just me--while Sunflower would probably add pleasant taste to the tinctures. A nice roasted flavor that might help mask the weed taste.

I would also suggest getting some flavor extracts and play with your tincture taste. Just remember this will change the strength of your tinctures just a tad depending on how much flavoring you add to your mix. Which I add after the infusion process.

Tested Strains:

For this review I made two different tinctures. First I used Chocolatina because that is what our dispensary had in shake. Shake is cheaper than flower and I was afraid that I would honestly screw up my first batch. I also made sure to get a strain I wouldn't weep over screwing up. I am not a sativa lover so the fact the dispensary only had this strain available as shake was fine with me.

This strain is a bit of a creeper for me when I have smoked it in the past. It effected me the same way as a tincture too. Silly Squirrel here decided to take another dose instead of patiently waiting. Needless to say, it was an entertaining evening for all, well for me anyways.

Once I realized this made tinctures Squirrel-proof, I grabbed my beloved Pop Rocks strain and went to work. 3 hours later, liquid gold was ready for consuming.

Tincture Details:

I went ahead and procured some fractionated coconut oil. I also wanted my tinctures to be strong so I adjusted my recipe accordingly. The more oil you use the less THC in your dose.

I like doing batches of 5g. I believe the flower container can hold up to 10g. For 5g of flower I used 1/4 cup of Coconut oil.

First process is to decarb. You do not put your oil in the reservoir yet. This is a 30 minute process with an added 10 minute "preheat."

After you hear the beep, it's time to add the oil and switch to infuse. This is a 2-hour process. Keep a small bowl under the spout in case of oil leakage--which my unit had a little issue with. One 1/2 cup of oil (8 Tbsp) produces just over 6 Tbsp of tincture:

• My Chocolatina at 25% THC produced a Tincture with 630mg of THC (1Tbsp ≈ 104mg)
• 5g of Pop Rocks at 26% THC produced a Tincture with 655mg of THC. (1Tbsp ≈ 108mg)

To figure out your dosage you don't have to be good with math. All you need to do is download a wonderful app from Sugar Leaf Media called THC Calculator. This is available on Android and iPhone. I was honestly debating whether to share this app information or not. I really just wanted ya'll to assume that I am incredibly smart and good with math. But my conscience got the better of me.

Would I Change Anything:

Two things. I would add a weed press to squeeze all the oil out of the flower.

I had a hard time finding the hole to get the flexible reservoir "straw" inserted so the reservoir could snap into place. This though could honestly just be me getting old, IDK?

Let me end in saying this, the last 3 days my stomach has been the happiest, warmest tummy ever. I don't know if it's the combination of the coconut oil and THC that is helping to coat and soothe? But I have not had this level of stomach pain relief ever. 

The Levo Oil Cannabutter Machine, hands down, earns the very rare, very exceptional Wacky Racky seal of approval. 

*Photos used with permission by LEVO. Find more reviews at wackyracky.com

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We sure love our marijuana concentrates. Cannabis concentrates are a huge staple in the marijuana industry. With marijuana consumption increasing around the country, more people are either aware of “dabbing/dabs” or are currently hitting one.

Marijuana concentrates are made using a variety of marijuana extraction methods. 

Solvents such as butane, CO2, and propane are used to extract desired compounds from marijuana flower.

Concentrates come in several different forms, but today, we’re going to look at my favorite kind of concentrate known as Propane Hash Oil (PHO). 

Propane’s interesting chemical make-up gives this kind of hash oil potential for maintaining terpene compounds found in the trichomes. 

Let’s look at PHO a little closer (no, not the Vietnamese soup – although that sounds nice, too)...

Clean Burning Propane: What is Propane Hash Oil?

If we’re anything like Hank Hill, we love our “propane and propane accessories.” 

Marijuana extracted through propane as the main solvent during the extraction process is called Propane Hash Oil or PHO for short. 

PHO is recognizable by its bright yellow color and is often known as “honey.”

It also tends to have a “buddery” consistency. 

PHO is made using only propane as a solvent. 

Propane’s extremely low boiling point, -43.6ºF, allows extraction specialists to separate more of the terpenes during the concentrate extraction. 

It also removes more of the solvent in the end.

PHO is consumed in a variety of ways: oil rigs, pens, or even joints. 

PHO vs. BHO: What is the Difference?

Are you a BHO or PHO kind of person? 

What’s the difference? 

Well…

One big difference between PHO and BHO (Butane Hash Oil) is consistency. 

PHO more often than not will have a buddery consistency (softer) whereas BHO will more likely have a shatter consistency (glasslike, brittle).  

Another difference between the two is the boiling point. Propane has a lower boiling point (43.6º F) than butane (32º F) which means little heat is needed to purge the solvent. 

This temperature difference affects the consistency of the concentrate and makes it much richer in terpenes. 

Propane hash oil is also known for having fewer residual solvents in the concentrate. 

This is a HUGE deal.

PHO Safety

With concentrates, there is always a risk of a gas leak that could spark and cause an explosion. 

PHO extraction tends to be a safer means for companies to operate in a licensed facility. Closed-loop extraction systems ensure propane doesn’t leak. 

How To Smoke PHO

Unlike smoking a bowl, you are going to need a specific set of tools. Tools that will make any wax concentrate cower in fear of you.

The Tools Needed:

• A dab rig - A small, bong-like smoking apparatus 

• Nectar collector - A straw-like smoking device

• Vape Pen - Concentrate vaporizer

When using a Nectar Collector, specifically designed trays/dishes are a must. 

These kinds of products are made out of glass, quartz, or silicone. 

After putting a small dab onto the container, blowtorch the tip of the collector. 

While heated, drag the hot nail across the wax while sucking through the mouthpiece. 

Deals on Concentrates In Denver

The Lodge has two dispensaries locations in downtown Denver.

Current deals on Concentrates are:

• 8gs of White Moose WAX or SHATTER for $90

• Full Spectrum Diamonds for $15

Herbs 4 you is located in the Capitol Hill Area.

Current deals on Concentrates include:

• 500mg High Potency cartridge for $15.82

The Stone has two dispensary locations nearby: Denver and Lakewood. 

Current deals for Concentrates include:

• $11.91 Sesh Cartridge 500mg

• 8 1000mg activated Syringe for $146.16

Rocky Mountain High has 4 locations spread around Denver.

Current deals for Concentrates include:

• 8g White Top concentrates for $99

Trenchtown Cannabis is located off Sheridan Blvd.

Current deals for ounces include:

• $55 Dab party pack: 2 concentrates (wax or shatter) and accessories

Pure Marijuana dispensaries are located throughout the Denver area.

Current deals on Concentrates are:

• BOGO Wednesdays: Any one thing ½ off

• $12.95 Wax & Shatter

• $19 1000mg Syringe 

Chronic Therapy has a location in Wheat Ridge and Cortez.

Current deals on Concentrates include: 

• 8 grams of silver tier Wax or Shatter for $120

RiverRock has a location in downtown Denver.

Current deals on pre-rolls are:

• 8g In-House concentrates for $85

Happy Dabbing!

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Marijuana is one of nature’s most simple-yet-complex plants aiding humankind. Science only continues to unravel the almost limitless helpful compounds in which marijuana is made up of. This includes the set of compounds known as cannabinoids.

We have our ever-popular THC. 

Tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) is the most well-known ingredient in the structure of marijuana.  THC is a potent cannabinoid that has mind-altering/hallucinatory effects. It is also known as Delta-9.

Another well-known cannabinoid is CBD. 

Cannabidiol (CBD) is the second most well-known active ingredient in marijuana. 

CBD, by itself, does not have any psychoactive properties and will make someone feel high. It acts more as a sleep aid, relief for depression, anxiety, and PTSD. 

But do you know about Delta-8 THC? What about Delta-10 THC? 

Confused? 

Let’s fix that and look at Delta-8 vs Delta-10 THC.

Delta-9 THC

First, let's start with what we are most familiar with.

Delta-9 THC is the most well-known THC out there. The one everyone flocks to for high percentage numbers. 

This THC’s full name is Delta-9 tetrahydrocannabinol, but you can see why THC stuck. 

It is a cannabinoid found in marijuana that produces psychoactive effects in a consumer. Usually the association of being “high”.

But this THC is only one of 60 different cannabinoid molecules found in marijuana plants. 

Now let’s look at Delta-8 and Delta-10 THC and compare them to Delta-9.

Delta-8 THC

Delta-8 THC is one of the new types of marijuana products gaining popularity with the culture. Consumers love Delta-8 for a calmer high. Delta-8 THC is also legal around the country due to also coming from hemp.

Delta-8 THC has very similar effects to THC, specifically indica strains. 

People report feeling happiness, euphoria, relief from different pains, and aids with insomnia.

Like regular THC, Delta-8 works intuitively with your body’s natural cannabinoid system. 

The two compounds have a double bond chemical structure. 

That double bond DNA is what is thought to be the producer of “feeling high” or euphoric effects.

Delta-10 THC

Delta-10 THC is an up-and-comer in the marijuana industry. 

Delta-10 is a sativa-like cannabinoid, creating a thought-provoking head high that has a lighter touch than a regular sativa strain. 

This allows consumers to feel creative/energetic vibes and avoid feelings of paranoia/anxiety that can sometimes come with sativa strains.

Chemically, Delta-8 and Delta-10 THC are cannabinoids that occur naturally in a marijuana plant and even hemp. With variations of THC chemical structures, it all depends on where bonds meet within molecules in the plant. THC (Delta-9) chemically bonds in the 9th carbon chain within the particular molecule. So follows Delta-8 and Delta-10 THC. 

Didn’t know you were going to get a chemistry lesson today, did you?

Delta-8 & Delta-10: Similarities

Delta-8 and Delta-10 THC are both derived from hemp which makes them both completely federally legal. 

They just cannot be above .3% Delta-9 THC, much like CBD.

It’s safe to say that all of the THC family, regardless of Delta variation, will produce a “high” which most are seeking. Delta-8 and Delta-10 will not disappoint in this department. Though neither are as potent as Delta-9.

Delta-8 and Delta-10 THC compounds work and interact with your body’s cannabinoid system.  Both of the compounds when consumed bind to your brain’s CB1 and CB2 receptors. When this occurs, the outcome can produce the ability to maintain your body’s homeostasis.

Delta-8 and Delta-10: Differences

Delta-10 THC produces a sativa-like high. 

It tends to make consumers feel alert, focused, and creative, whereas Delta-8 produces an indica-like effect. 

Consumers typically feel couch-lock, relaxed/sleepy, and sometimes munchies. Good to know the difference depending on what you're trying to do for the day.

Which is Stronger of the Deltas?

It’s important to understand that intensities between Delta-8, Delta-9, and Delta-10 THC compounds can vary to a certain extent.

Delta-9 THC is well-known to produce psychoactive properties. 

Although, sometimes it can produce unwanted side effects, like paranoia or anxiety.

Delta-8 and Delta-10 are much weaker in comparison to Delta-9 THC.

Delta-8 is known to give consumers an extremely mild high.

With feelings of relaxation and munchies. Only feels like a small buzz, like having a drink or two.

Delta-10 THC is probably the weakest of the THCs.

Delta-10 comes with the benefit of feeling focused and creative, with the feelings of paranoia and anxiety that can typically bring forth.

Hope you took notes because there will be a chemistry test tomorrow!

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Oh, marijuana, how we love thee. Though I’m sure you may get tired of constantly running back and forth to the dispensary. So you say to yourself, “I need to start buying weed by the ounce.”

As the years since legalization has passed, prices on marijuana have continued to decrease in the state of Colorado. 

The cost of weed is lower here than in most other markets. 

Be thankful.

So you’ve decided you are getting an ounce. 

Well, then, let’s explore the wonderful world of Oz – ounces, that is, and we have some cheap oz deals.

I’ll break down ounce pricing for you so you have a better idea of how much you should pay for an ounce (oz) of fine cannabis, as well as locations. 

Let’s find you that cheap oz!

The Legal Limit

It’s always good for me to start by saying that an ounce (oz) of marijuana weighs 28 grams. Some refer to an ounce as a zip, O, or, as we’ve been mentioning, “Oz”. 

Most importantly, one ounce of marijuana is the legal limit one can possess at any time in Colorado.

Ounce Prices From Not Too Long Ago

In the 2000s, marijuana prices fluctuated very widely. 

You could get an ounce for $50 but you could expect it to be some of the lowest quality you could get. 

These cannabis ounces typically had an abundance of leaves, stems, plant material, and very little quality flower.

For higher grade marijuana, the further you lived from the coast, the worse the prices got. Places in the midwest would expect to pay upwards of $650. 

Thank God for marijuana legalization.

The Art of Buying in Bulk

It might seem like a “duh, Cannasaver”, but buying more weed at once can save lots of money. Think about it – if you are someone going to the dispensary every day and are only grabbing a gram or two at a time that’s about $20 a run. Not to mention gas, traffic headaches, and so forth.

If you were to only spend about $5 more, you could have gotten an eighth and received 1.5 grams more. Having that much more to save aside. Price breaks increase considerably as weight increases. Save up a little more money and you will get much more marijuana for less money!

Dispensaries love giving discounts for bulk purchases as they help dispensaries move products faster allowing for fresher products to come in.

Deals On Ounces In Denver

If you’re in the Denver area, we have some cheap oz deals you’ll want to check out…

Herbs 4 you is located in the Capitol Hill Area.

Current deals for shake include:

• Indoor top-shelf popcorn $78.32 OZ 

• Top shelf shake OZ for $38.76

The Stone has two dispensary locations nearby: Denver and Lakewood. 

Current deals for Ounces include:

• $50.83 Strain Specific Ounce

Rocky Mountain High has 4 locations spread around Denver.

Current deals for ounces include:

• $79 Ounce Deal

The Lodge has 2 locations in Denver.

Current deals on ounces are:

• $69.99 OZ Special

• $39 OZ of Shake

South Park Farma has two dispensaries located in Commerce City and Grant.

Current deals on shake are:

• $140 Top shelf Mix-N-Match OZ

Trenchtown Cannabis is located off Sheridan Blvd.

Current deals for ounces include:

• OZ for $89

• $99 Ounce daily strain

Doc’s Apothecary has two dispensaries located in Denver and Northglenn.

Current deals on ounces are:

• Rec premium ounce for $98

Pure Marijuana dispensaries are located throughout the Denver area.

Current deals on ounces are:

• Ounce for $108

La Bodega is located off Cedar Ave in Denver, hours vary.

Current deals on ounces are:

•  $95 top shelf ounce

High West has a dispensaries location in Denver.

Current deals on ounces are:

• $79 Indoor grow OZ

Lova is located in downtown Denver.

Current deals on ounces are:

• MED ONLY: $89 ounce or 2 ounces for $150

Happy blazing, you CostCo cannabis consumers!

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Ah yes, the age ol' marijuana smoke sesh. What a delight and how fun!

Friends and family gathering together to let a load off by releasing the daily stresses through the combustion of fine marijuana buds. Such bliss. 

But, like in other aspects of life, marijuana comes with some said and unsaid rules. 

Human culture is surrounded by unsaid guidelines; use the right lane when driving, other than to pass, and cover your mouth when you sneeze. Just to name a couple.

Cannabis culture is absolutely no different. 

Much like with ways to set a dinner table, weed has its own set of etiquette to abide by. 

Let’s remind ourselves to be polite stoners through weed etiquette. 

Our focus is mainly on seshs (sessions) and dispensary trips.

General Weed Etiquette

To help get your next toke session off without a hitch, here’s the ultimate guide to weed etiquette.

Get it right and your night is certain to be a relaxing journey through a hazy mist, get it wrong and you might find yourself out in the cold. 

Here are our unwritten rules of weed etiquette.

Sharing is Caring

Simple concept really. This is a huge part of acting as a good host; making those around you feel comfortable.

The best kinds of smoke seshs begin an experience which allows people to just be together.

Let Em Know It’s Smoke Time!

Easy. Just holler, “Yo, it's time to smoke!” Simple as that. Just make sure to tell those who are sensitive to smoking whether a strain you are smoking is particularly strong. 

Add To The Weed Pile

If you are lucky enough to have some stash on you, share! You don’t have to provide all your bud by any means. Maybe just a joint or something similar. 

Feeling Sick? Pass on the Puff!

Marijuana is amazing at helping with many different ailments. Fighting sickness from viruses is not one of them.

Especially in the pandemic era we find ourselves in, keep a distance away from others and don't spread it!

Juicy Lips? Clean Them Up!

Smoke the joint, don’t suck on it! If you have a case of juicy lips, wipe them. Sometimes pinching the joint with your fingers and inhaling through the fingers is the best way to keep a joint dry and shareable!

Don’t Burn The Whole Bowl

The nice thing about a bong is that you can get multiple green hits from one bowl.

So, if you’re passing glass and are first in line, control your flame and only light a small corner of the precious pot. Don’t “roast” it! That way, the next few tokers can experience the same joy of “greens.”

Left Is Law

Don’t ask me, just the way it is. Pass that dutchie to the left-hand side.

Camping Has A Place & Time

During the sesh, are you constantly yelled at for chilling with the bowl? You’re camping! Also known as bogarting. 

Take a good, deep hit and let her go. 

Puff, puff, pass. 

Tell your story after you’ve passed it.

Treat The Bong Like Something Precious (It Is)

I feel like those who share bongs don’t share this enough. These devices are typically a little on the pricey side. Treat this thing like a baby because chances are, it probably is your friend's loved one.

If Someone Sits Out, Don’t Harass

The most important aspect of weed etiquette is respecting choices. 

Cannabis culture is a compassionate and considerate culture.

It’s also about acceptance/compassion. 

That being the case, leave the peer pressure out of it. 

Everybody is different.

Etiquette for Dispensary Trips

Now that we’ve reviewed some proper weed etiquette during sessions, let’s have a reminder course on some DOs and DON’Ts while at your nearest dispensary.

Bring Your Government Issued ID and Probably Cash

Like alcohol, marijuana is 21 and up. IDs will be checked, but a state-issued, non-expired license will get you right through those doors.

As for bringing cash, marijuana is not federally legal and therefore doesn’t play nice in the card department, yet (some places they’re accepting debit, though). 

It’s good to look up prices online and get an estimate of the cost beforehand.

Don’t be the person expecting the budtender to cover you with their tips, get cash.

Ask As Many Questions As You Need

Though there are a lot of rules to legal marijuana, most budtenders will absolutely love to set you on your marijuana journey correctly. If you have questions, have them prepared or perhaps written down. They’ll answer every single one you have!

Don’t Be Overly Cocky About Your Knowledge

You may feel insecure because you’re new to dispensaries, but you don’t want to overcompensate. Once again, everyone’s been a greenhorn before, so it’s ok if you’re a little lost.

While you may feel embarrassed to ask “stupid” questions, it’s still a whole lot better than being flippant with a budtender. Walking in and demanding the strongest strain they have can sour the whole experience for everyone in the establishment.

Sure, you may have a good grasp of marijuana, but it’s always useful to chat with the budtender and get their opinion on things. 

Budtenders are there to help, not challenge you. If you try to go past your limits against the advice of budtenders, you’ll just end up feeling foolish — and queasy!

Phones Go Away

Dispensaries have fairly strict “No Camera” policies. Plus, you can probably go 10-15 minutes without it.

Tip Your Budtender!

Like you would a bartender, you should tip your budtender. You can show big appreciation for your budtender with such gestures.

And, Wait to Use Your Weed Products

I know, you NEED to smoke that weed you just bought immediately but laws on public consumption of cannabis still vary. Wait until you're home. 

Happy smoking, you polite stoner, you!

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When it comes to consuming cannabis there are many routes one can choose from. There is the tried and true tradition of rolling up a joint, or maybe even cracking a “Backwoods” or “Swisher” down the middle and loading that bad boy up with some tasty, ground flower. Or maybe you’d like to try some of those “fire extracts” your buddy has been raving about. Brownies, cookies, Rice Crispy treats; sometimes it seems like more choices than someone may want to make when all you really want is to unwind after a long day and smoke some jazz cabbage. Well, fear not, friends! We here at Cannasaver are here to sift through scientific reporting and many, many smoke sessions to bring you a guide to THC potency and give you our recommendations on what we’ve been puffing on. Here’s our take on the most potent forms of THC for you big doobie dawgs out there.

The Testing

If you’ve ever been to a dispensary, I’m sure you’ve seen those percentage numbers on every different strain at the counter.  

What those numbers mean is that the entire crop of whichever strain you are looking at had to be tested by a Colorado Marijuana approved lab before it is able to be sold at a recreational store.  

• The first things a lab always tests for are residual pesticides, heavy metals, or other contaminants that may have been left behind during the buds growing period.  

This is fantastic for us as cannabis consumers because we know coming from a reputable source that it is clean, green weed!  

• The second thing a lab will test for is the potency of the cannabis, extract, or edible that the grower wants to sell. 

In most cases, flowers will typically range from 15% THC to as high as 35% in some strains. 

That’s some chronic weed, man.  

Wax, shatter, distillate, and rosin can range from the mid-70s to mid-90s in the percentage of THC.  

Blast off, baby!! These are your most potent forms of THC. 

Edibles are measured a bit differently in the sense that it’s not a percentage of THC per edible, it is milligrams of THC per serving.

The Flower

Just like you and I, every cannabis plant has its own set of genetics that gives it the physical characteristics and potency that it possesses.  

Some strains come in with much higher and potent THC levels than others. 

Here are some of our favorites:

Here's a deal for one of our favorite strains, Cherry Lime Haze -  $59.99 oz of Cherry Lime Haze 20% THC

This strain is a hybrid blend of Sativa and Indica.  

While it’s not one of the most potent forms of THC, it’s a great choice for a midday smoke break because it only has 20% THC levels.  

It gives a great heady high and tastes great!  

This is a great strain for encouraging creativity and relaxing the body. 

One of our favorite stores, Herbs4you, always stocks a great mix of sativas and indicas at great prices.  

Here, you can talk to a trained "bud-ologist" about the different strains they have for sale.

The Extracts

When it comes to weed and its potency, some have taken the method of getting a “high score” to a new level.  

There are several different ways to consume weed extracts whether it be through shatter, wax, dabs, rosin, distillate, or cartridges.  

All of these products tend to have a much higher level of THC than the flower your grandad used to puff on.  

Wax or shatter is usually made through a hydrocarbon method of extraction giving it a very pure and clean taste.  The rosin is made through a pressure and heat extraction giving it a very terpene-filled earthy taste, and the distillate and cartridges people smoke are a very convenient and tasty way to puff on the go.

Our friends over at The Stone Dispensary have you covered on your wax and shatter needs. 

Right now they have a deal on grams of extract so you can sample a few different flavors and pick your favorite.  

We recommend their ever-potent Wedding Cake.  

As for distillate, one of our favorite, most potent deals is from La Bodega.

They are offering two carts right now for $30.  Cartridges are one of the most potent forms of THC. They’re a great way to smoke high percentage THC on the go.  

They smell great, are discreet, and get you super ripped.

Edibles

The edibles available today have come a long way since making a double boiler out of a mixing bowl and pot in your friend's kitchen to make some dank cannabutter.  There was always the one batch of cookies that came out way stronger than anyone expected and got everyone catatonically stoned for the night.  There are some great bakers out there who specialize in getting you baked. 

Edible dosage is measured in milligrams per serving instead of THC percentage.  In general, edibles will keep you high longer but creep up slower than taking a bong rip or smoking a joint.  Your body is able to uptake the THC and cannabinoids through the digestive system giving a great body high along with the head high. 

Check out our friends over at AMCH Denver for a smoking mix and match deal. 

They allow you to pick 4 different edibles for $60!  It's a great way to eat and get the munchies at the same time.  The more you eat, the hungrier you get. 

Gummies are a great way to dose out THC in manageable amounts if you need to be productive.  We love to mix CBD with THC in one tasty treat.  Check out Stone Dispensary for some dank deals on some dank gummies.  These aren't quite the same as the old Flintstones gummies we had as kids but they do pack 50 mg of vitamin THC (not actually a vitamin, don’t come at us). 

Thanks for reading our guide to the most potent forms of THC and have fun testing them out for yourselves. 

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Discover Your Fortune!

Aries - You were courageous to embark on the DIY house-painting, but you shouldn't have used water-color. 

Taurus - Now that it's warm enough, you can finally talk about how you'd be jogging every day but it's too hot outside.

Gemini - There’s no need to announce you’re going to the restroom, especially not on a mic during the maid of honor’s toast.  

Cancer - Though you got poked hard in the eye, a jumbo bandaid is not the solution.

Leo - The terribleness of your breath will become crystal clear when they can't resuscitate the dental hygienist. 

Virgo - It might be a greasy old gym sock covered in moldy cheese, but hey, at least it's not Cracker Barrel. 

Libra - The universe will send you three tests, at no added cost, after your couture shaving box.  

Scorpio - It's safe to say you didn't turn into your parents, but at this rate, looks like you'll be skipping right to your grandparents. 

Sagittarius - You have too much pride to ask for help, but as a stoner stuck in the mud in a dinosaur costume, no one wants to anyway. 

Capricorn - You'll realize the thing you've been missing your entire life, is thick, thick corduroy; then the mediocrity will kill you.

Aquarius - Your quest to know thyself will end fittingly in a near-direct DNA match with an extinct family of parameciums. 

Pisces - Now that you've flushed your phone, you can enjoy the things you used to do the old-fashioned way, like looking for a plumber in a phone book.

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Cannasaver in San Diego

San Diego's recreational marijuana community is thriving with a myriad of top-notch dispensaries. The competitive landscape means many of these establishments offer enticing deals on both marijuana buds and edibles to capture your attention. Whether you're exploring dispensaries in the heart of the San Diego Gaslamp District or seeking delivery services, you'll come across numerous offers, from first time patient (FTP) & customer deals to daily specials. First-time shoppers often benefit from the best dispensary deals, but with a bit of research, there's a deal for nearly every cannabis product you desire. For those keen on spotting the best marijuana prices and promotions in San Diego, Cannasaver stands out. Rooted in Denver, this pioneering platform specializes in cannabis deals. Stay updated with our Cannabis News section or sign up for fresh deals, ensuring you always snag the most marijuana discounts in San Diego. Here's our selection of top dispensary deals in San Diego.

Best San Diego Dispensary Deals on Weed

Golden State Greens just south of San Diego's Mission Bay has a 25% off wax deal going on right now. Harbor Collective also has a nice little happy hour deal going on, where you can get 10% off your purchases plus some other rotating weed, cartriduge, and edible deals. Harbor Collective is a recreational marijuana dispensary in the Gaslamp District. 

Free Marijuana in San Diego

Some San Diego dispensaries are enticing first-time customers with crazy discounts, from 40% off marijuana on your first few visits and more. Not quite free, but almost, right? You can also get a nice first-time order deal from weed delivery company Kurvana, currently offering 15% off. Veterans also get this deal!

More San Diego Dispensary Deals

These are by no means the only San Diego dispensary deals. You can find many more marijuana deals like these on CannaSaver. Looking for edibles deals? We got that. How about a good deal on a gram of weed? Yup. Need a deal on an ounce? Look no further. To consistently nab the most attractive cannabis rates in San Diego, stay abreast with the latest dispensary offers via CannaSaver - your go-to guide.

Enjoy a little elevation at sea level, San Diego!

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A decades-long international study at Oxford University has finally determined that patchouli use is directly linked to polite murmurs of “Hey, you gonna eat all that?” 

The study could have important implications for the re-homing and domestication of patchouli users.

“We were unsure there would be a direct causal link between patchouli usage and food scavenging, but after our extensive research there remains no doubt,” head researcher Dr. Victor Samuels told Dispatches. "Just as many have theorized, it is directly correlated to uttered inquiries regarding the completion of an entrée." 

In the double-blind research study, half of the research participants were given either patchouli oil or placebo of skunk spray, to wear for a period of two hours. Participants were then left in a room with a lone other person, seated next to a full plate of vegan cookies, and observed for a period of time.

The results were unmistakable. Absolutely every person, high on the effects of patchouli oil, couldn’t help but ask the stranger ‘Hey, you gonna eat all that?’ within a matter of minutes.

The participants themselves were as shocked as anyone. “Don’t judge me before you walk a mile in my Birkenstocks,” said one, wishing to remain anonymous.

"Honestly? I don’t even like desserts made of oatmeal and sand,” reported another. “But after a couple drops of the oil, I couldn’t help but fixate on that plate with lustful, wanton eyes. I was helpless, like Gary Busey at a cocaine brunch.”

For Samuels, the study had a personal connection. “I got pretty heavy into the stuff in college.” he recalled. “I’d already experimented with Nag Champa, a 'gateway' essence. Then at Lilith Fair I got so deep in the ‘pogo’ that I just lost control of myself. The last thing I remember is leaving the McLachlan mosh pit to scavenge for half-eaten Morning Star corn dogs. That’s not who I am!” 

“After that, I gave up patchouli cold-turkey,” he added.

Study participants will undergo a strong delousing with Dr. Bronner’s All Natural Shampoo before leaving the research premises, and will be observed in following weeks to track any relapses. Still, Samuels sees hope for those whose lives have gone disastrously awry under the dark shadow of patchouli use. 

“We know just how sensitive this time can be,” he said. “All test subjects are treated with the utmost respect as they deal with their helpless affinities for cardboard-based snackfood and comfortable-yet-unsightly footwear. But if we can ultimately find what makes patchouli users turn into dirty dreadlocked weirdos in tie-dye, then who knows what’s next? We might even find a link between the sun, and like, plant life or something."

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Don’t pretend ya’ didn’t see me. You were lookin my direction since you walked in the room and I was showin’ the stanky dank to Rollo. That’s right. I got that Purp. You been enjoyin’ her smooth aroma. And I’m tellin’ you right now, son, smells ain’t free.

I shouldn’t have to tell you that! Where you from anyway! You’re in Cannatown Proper now, Jimbo. You never hearda Purp? My name’s Purp. I’M Purp. P-R-P, PURP. I’m the fella that’s listenin’ when you start askin’ Homes here what he’s got available in a violet hue. Violet hue? That’s like askin’ a grey duck who’s a goose!

See everyone ‘round these parts just says, “Purp?” Then I say “What, you need Purp? I got that Purp. I got that Purp right here.” But this ain’t just any Purp. This is like a swig of pure mash. Picked on the edges of Grape Gorge. Hand-picked! P-R-P, Purrrr-urp!

See, that’s why smells ain’t free.

And I saw you treatin’ your shnoz to a couple whiffs. Pull out that cash, son, I also accept bullion--gold. New customer, old customer. Smells ain’t free, not never.

Y’all need that Purp? I got that right here.

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The SS Shitface, a shitty, run-down shrimping boat that became wedged in the Susie Q Sandbar and nearly cut off traffic to indispensable “Free Hash Island,” has been finally refloated, authorities reported on Monday.

The crappy old trawler sailed north to the Great Hitter Lake in the east Highlands, and will now “technically” undergo an inspection. “That’s code for, one massive hookah session with everyone tossing in their own crop, while the boat sits at a dock,” an insider told Dispatches. 

Earlier on Monday the Cannatown Cannal Authority said the ship had “responded to the yanking and bludgeoning maneuvers of a small army of front-loaders, driven by ‘somewhat moonshot operators’ eager to get to the free hash on the other side.”

The SS Shitface is one of the most neglected, despicable boats in the world. The one-ton vessel is able to carry roughly ten people and about 20 crates of fish or lobster, and, stretching more than 40 feet, is almost as long as a tree is tall. 

The ship, which ran aground over a decade ago, created terrible disruptions in the free hash supply, especially the connections directly routed through the narrow sandbar connecting Free Hash Island with Cannatown’s 'SupYo' District. 

Around 56% of Cannatown’s free hash passes through or around the sandbar, and locals had gone to all lengths--typically climbing over the smelly, vile old ketch with their own ladders, or nearby pieces of driftwood--to conquer the obstacle. It made the return traverse notoriously treacherous for those whose pockets and carryalls were stuffed to the brim with fresh, fine hash and temple balls. 

Bernie Shootie-Shipmanagymoo, acting captain, originally told officials the boat ran aground due to heavy fog. Over the next couple of months, it became clearer that the actual location of the fog may have played a role in the ship’s deviation--namely, that it was inside the bridge, from some pretty thick rips of White Widow. 

Expert salvage crews were initially called in to help refloat the ship but the project quickly veered off-course and became forgotten as the workers, their friends, families, and then, everyone else, became aware of and mesmerized by all the heaps of free hash just beyond the work site.

Although the boat has finally been freed, those hoping to find happy trails on the sandbar still have to scale the mountain of mud loosened during the operation. But 19,000 citizens have lined up, and are determinedly making their way across the thin stretch of gravel, onto Free Hash Island.

“Even though I miss Ol' Shitface, I say good riddance,” said free hash aficionado Ronny Gregio, a Cannatown resident who used to pole vault over the wretched old junk heap. “That stupid boat. It was the worst watercraft I’ve ever seen.”

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As Cannatown settles in for a strange time “between pandemics,” there are bright spots on the landscape. Literally tens of them. The 30 young gamblers, part-timers, live-at-homers, and failed investors featured in our annual 30 Over 30 offer a fleeting glimpse of hope, and it ain’t much. Some aren’t defying the odds or improving themselves; others are battling with terrible habits, and discovering new scams. This year, most of them had to set up their own cameras at home to submit portraits--due to the pandemic.

Glenda Felberger - Compulsive Gambler
Meet Glenda Felberger, 39. Despite countless setbacks, including one record-setting 48 overdraft fees in a row, Glenda has persevered, accumulating a sizeable fortune by stuffing casino winnings under her mattress over the course of several years, and forgetting about it. Following a short-lived sandwich artist career that led her into multi-level marketing of miracle juice, Felberger doubled her fortune one weekend in Vegas, when she converted nearly half her fortune into nickels and won almost $225. She first made it into the Thousandaires Club in 2019, when a tax return bumped her briefly up and over the mark--but it was quick-lived as she immediately spent it on an inflatable hot-tub. "My motto is, maybe I saved the receipt but I probably didn't, so go ahead and pour me another cosmo," she said. "I said pour me another freakin' cosmo!"

Terry Burns - Sole Partner, Burns LLC
One of the oldest youngest investment partners at Burns LLC, where she led investments in things like popcorn, and joists, and has attended board meetings for Borky's Shrimp Shack, Burns, 33, doesn’t seem like the kind of person with less than $3,000 in personal assets--but you’d be wrong. Despite sitting on the board of the nonprofit Geniuses in Slippers, which teaches coding skills to cross-eyed computer-stupid stoners from shwag-ravaged communities, and a degree in Computer Science from the CannaTown Technical School, Burns typically lives check-to-check and is only 'up' this week because she unloaded a bunch of her dad’s old golf glubs on eBay, netting her enough for rent and a little splurging money. But she’s mentioned that the fortune is likely temporary. “I should pay off that electricity bill,” she says, “but now that I work from home I also have my mind set on a massage chair.”

Marty Bowen - Gas Station Shift Manager
At 38, Marty Bowen should not be working at gas station full time, not when there are plenty of other good jobs around. So says Marty’s mother, Justine, who will sometimes stop by the Phillips 66 station where Marty works throughout the day, just to buy gum, gripe and sneer. “I hate it when she comes in here,” Marty says, “But I’ve also looked at the numbers, and she’s our best customer.” It’s a strange relationship, with Bowen’s dingy, tiny apartment just minutes from his mother’s aging abode, where he often takes advantage of functional laundry and plumbing. Over the course of time, he’s saved nearly $1750 in loose change, stored in trashbags, since he’s overdrafted and closed nearly every bank account he’s ever owned. But he seems unphased. "If I didn't have my bong and huge satchel of Durban Poison, I’d be having a mid-life crisis right now.”

Remy Williams - Entrepreneur
It’s fair to say that Remy Williams has always been affluent: he’s the heir to the Gargzeta-Bongaza Goo-Balls Corporation, makers of fine goo-balls and edibles. That’s not to say he’s without a sales gene. He demonstrated entrepreneurial skills from an early age, and graduated top of the Slinging department at CU. His unfortunate life-changing fall from grace came when Williams, high on life, and some Alaskan Thunderf*ck, decided to sink his entire life savings into Cannatown's first-ever School for Porpoises. He soon learned that there were no porpoises in Cannatown, or in the greater high desert Sensemilla Valley; they didn't occur naturally, nor did anyone keep them as pets. In fact the school turned out to be the first ever of its kind in the country, yet nobody came for obvious reasons. Resilient, Williams kept the lights on and sat alone at the front desk, waiting for days, then a few years. Finally, at age 37, accepting it had been a bad idea, he shut it down, and walked away with about $4500 left to his name. "At least I have all these clothes from the gift shop," he said, "and the Gargzeta-Bongaza Goo-Balls." 

MORE 30 OVER 30 - Find our Full List of Average People
From all walks of life, from all areas of the cannaworld. Go online for our full list of middle-ground "winners," who, despite all odds, have somehow scraped together a couple thousand dollars, such as these fine people:

Greg Talbot (35) - Quit college after three years in engineering, now works as a canoe and kayak guide, living in a nearby R.V.

Jen McGregory (36) - She's been working in H.R. for a long time, and that's just the real story, she honestly never takes vacations.

Ned Teasley (32) - Teasley's bookie and missing dog will be happy to hear he's finally seeing profits from his beer brat stand.

 

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Aloha, Jollydabbers. How’s your miserable shred of existence? I’ve learned so much, like how patchy my beard is when I grow it out. This is what I would’ve looked like as a pioneer. And this is what my life would’ve been like back in the day, playin’ video games by candle light, eating plain rice night after night because I can’t cook, makin’ Rube Goldberg contraptions and givin’ up like, right away every time--and on top of all that, I just smaked my first resin bowl in years. Dudeman! 

That’s where we are now.

I'm on a resin surfboard, a goofy, weird misadventure full of sights and sounds that won't last more than a half hour. Always looking over my shoulder for spiders. Contemplating the quantum opposite of a polar bear, and wondering what quantum really means. Is it even a real word?

Last time I smaked resin was way back in the day, when the weed stores 'round here still had the occasional drought! Remember that? Friday night one August I stumbled into the Mom and Pop place I always went to, and the flower was just, out. I couldn’t believe, it, no, not in the land of smake galore! With few minutes left before closing time, I didn’t have time to hop the bus. I went right home and scraped a heaping wad of resin from all my pipes, a glorious mountain of years’ worth of stuff, and smaked it ‘til morning.

And I thought that was like, the end of the world at the time. Man, oh to be 2014 Hugh. I’d do it all differently.

 Never did I think I’d be scroungin’ around for leaves and steems, any crummerts around my bedroom. 'Course, I could still run down to the store -- apparently they’re still open. But I can’t get an Uber and I’m pretty sure I’ll die if I take the bus. We were gettin’ so close to dro-drones that I’m not sure history books will be able to capture the stingin’ irony of going from drone delivery back to resin bowls in a matter of weeks. My cousin from Kalamazoo just wrote me he hasn’t smaked in a fortnight. Fuuuudddddge that.

Now I’m waitin’ for a check while I wait for another check, while I wait for one more week to pay fifty bills, pickin’ up every weird little job I can, to make sure I can eat and smake and live, like, fixin’ toilets. I’m like, a pro at that because I’ve had to fix my own crapper about 20 times, since I’ve been using almost anything within reach as TP these days. 

Oh, glory hallelujah, if only to be 2014 Hugh.

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The Cannatown fire department was called to 420 Beasley St. Thursday night, to contain a small fireplace fire gone wrong for none other than occasional contributor to Dispatches, Mr. Hugh Jollydab. The blaze was contained and put out by 5:20am, but not before destroying much of Jollydab’s living room. 

Fire Chief Higgins reported that the ordeal actually began with a plumbing issue, for which a unit was dispatched to address at around 11:30pm, just a few hours earlier, when a clog caused the tenant’s toilet to explode. “There wasn’t much we could do to help with that mess except console those affected,” Higgins said. According to the report, a heap of used bathroom towels was used to wipe up the mess in the small, 6x6 bathroom, but it was not enough to stop the flood of sewage that leaked deep into the flooring and began raining in the building’s converted cellar. 

Mr. Jollydab proceeded to place a large fan in the bathroom, in order to dry the area, then set off to clean the “man-cave” directly below. “It was there that he encountered what he believed to be a huge buzzing noise in the ceiling,” Higgins reported. Upon closer examination, Jollydab determined the source of the buzzing to be a large hornet’s nest. Unable to locate the hive, or remove the drywall, the tenant “smashed through the ceiling using a nearby hatchet,” haphazardly removing drywall, wood and insulation, until a three-foot hole to the ground floor confirmed that the hive was indeed, the “large box fan in the soiled bathroom.”

While not directly related to the ordeal, the fire that engulfed the living room began when Jollydab, forgetting the demolished pieces of wall and other debris in his own fireplace, lit ablaze a giant fire in the hearth, using huge, fat shwag-bricks as he reeled exhausted from his cleanup efforts. It wasn’t long, before the crummy, dry cannabis filled the air with intoxicating fumes strong enough to momentarily debilitate anyone within a five-house radius. “It sure got everyone high for a moment,” said Higgins, “but this just ain’t the way to do it. You know, Safety First.”

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Are UFOs hogwash? Do aliens exist and did they take my pills? Have they visited earth and if so was it their dog that left a dooty on the park strip? 

These are just some questions the local chapter of Freemont Scientacular Nerdry Society (FSNS) are hoping to answer when they make a key address later this afternoon to residents of the Stinky Shady Creek Nursing Home.

For decades, if not centuries, stoned geeks have reported encounters with strange objects, some of which were Unusual-Ass Projectiles (UAP's). Now that the government has informally confirmed some of these recordings, the local FSNS members feel that their time has come. “In the past, we’ve been ridiculed for insisting upon the presence of intergalactic visitors, and now we are prepared to present some of our life’s work,” said local FSNS chapter president, Theodore Montgomery. “Specifically, we're eager to stroll through about 100 Powerpoint slides.”

Overtly paranoid and eager for social contact, the nursing home residents, who have yet to learn of the day’s activity, represent the exact kind of inquiring population that FSNS hopes will embrace their message. An estimated 75 seniors plan to be present, as the briefings will follow Bridge Club, directly prior to 4:30 dinnertime. Several will also be on prescription sedatives.

“People walked out on us in Ashville, and most recently at Bongaroo,” said Montgomery. “Finally we’re confident that we've found an audience that won’t leave or throw tomatoes.”

“We double-checked their cafeteria menu,” he added.

While galactic issues have never taken first priority at the home, the mysteries of space clearly weigh heavily on all. Some residents have expressed fear in the past that UAP's might be the tools of military adversaries out to get their blood pressure medication. Others have complained that aliens walk among us, namely, whatever substitute aides are covering for normal nursing staff during vacation days. And 10% believe they are currently on a UFO.

Home Director Beverly Myles is hopeful but doesn't quite know what to expect. "At first I thought maybe this presentation would help quell our little hunger strike over ‘extraterrestrial’ pancakes, but now I fear it could get worse."

"Almost nobody eats those pancakes now," she added. "Perfectly good though. Scratch Bisquick with extra cinnamon."

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Perhaps it was a moment of psychiatric paralysis, perhaps out of sheer boredom from lockdown, but Mayor J. Van Cannaby, City Council, and Chamber of Commerce have started the year on a new foot: with the goal of redoing “all measurements” that govern our lives, from distance to volume. Following a Friday night virtual bong-binge with other town leaders, wherein the new structures and labeling were hammered out, a “measure” passed unanimously at 4:20AM in the morning with anyone still conscious to vote.

Although popular due to “tearing down of outdated institutions,” the revolutionary change is already gaining opposition from various parties who will see their own distribution points radically affected. For instance, all liquid-volume measurements will be refactored from fractions of gallon or liter systems into four main categories: sips, swallows (aka ‘swals’), swigs, and the optional and variable “chugs” to scale. Commercial productions must recalibrate. “I just ruined a recipe that called for a swal of vegetable oil,” said baker Rordon Gamsey, “But who’s to say my swal is the same as the next person? Do they realize how much I can chug?” 

In another case, a traveler ran out of gas on a trip because the road sign had been changed to read "Resinville: 6 Jaunts." The account seemed to verify the prescient warnings of council-member Jeanie Barnes who had wondered aloud, “What if people completely misjudge the length of a ‘jaunt?’"

Meanwhile, the Ways and Means Committee slipped a provision into the bill to flip the entire polarity of monetary value in order to save on costs. Now, the most expensive things will cost mere pennies, while trivial crap will cost billions apiece.

If that’s true, then the richest 1% are now the poorest simply by owning money, while the penniless should be able to buy up mansions by the dozen. “That’s great news for me,” says local banjo-strumming wastrel Tim Litscher. “I ain’t got shit.”

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Hey what's up homedogs, mind if I join in on your smake? How've you been handling stuff? Do we really have to wear masks while we hit steamrollers, am I right? Like, should I swab down the bong? Oh, I should? Swabbing. Yea, it hasn't been easy, but I found one thing that's just taken my mind off everything else: that's right, I've been writing a romance novel.

Stop, you say--but not until I've explained myself. This isn't just about some wacky guy who, uh, gets down all stoned with a princess and then they like, hookup. Guys, this is a story for the ages. About a guy, just like you and me. And deep down he knows someone is out there just for him. And maybe he searches and searches for a bit. And that's when he meets...the bud of his dreams. 

That’s right. It’s a bud. Not like all those other stories. This is a plump, perfectly-trimmed nug, not too moist, not too dry, cured in some beautiful wine cellar, super sugary and fruity like fresh-baked muffins. And maybe he tries a taste, just dips his toes, and just has a long moment where he locks eyes with the bud, except the bud isn’t alive, but he like, well, he loads it and smakes it because that’s what you do, ha. 

Here, I should hit this, sorry.

And here's the clincher. It was under his nose the whole time. Like, a friend gave him a satchel with this beautiful huge nuggersh, and once he finds it, he just like, he cherishes it. He like, loves that thing. He puts it in this golden box and can't help but tell the world about it. 

I mean, this guy is really happy. Happiest he's ever been.

But then he realizes their time is short. The days are counted together. And it's just this daily struggle about a dude who loves this beautiful little nug so much, but he has to break off little parts of it and, like, smake it right in front of the bud.

Man, every time I say it, wow--doesn't that just move you? Sorry, argh homies, I got something in my eye.

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