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Cannascopes November 2021
Discover Your Fortune!
Aries - The first date would've gone well, if your allergy to bird-watching hadn't kicked in.
Taurus - It’s cold outside, but then, it’s cold inside too. Because you spent the utility bill money on a satchel and it was totally worth it.
Gemini - Your landlord wasn't happy when you brought a cow in the house, so you probably shouldn't tell him it's stuck in the attic.
Cancer - It was a night to remember at the opera. Nobody could figure out how you got on stage, much less, into that tiny leotard.
Leo - Eyes off your phone and pay more attention to life! Specifically, it's your turn to puff puff pass, and you're holding up the circle.
Virgo - The gravity in here is terrible, you'll think, before tumbling head-first into the trampoline with half-roasted blunt in hand.
Libra - The leaf-blower bong was a nice weekend novelty, but you shouldn't have brought it along to ski.
Scorpio - Nobody’s cried so much when they hurled before, but then, nobody’s eaten a party-sized Oreos that fast before.
Sagittarius - The lady watching you at the gym isn't admiring your squats. She's considering calling you an ambulance.
Capricorn - You’re not sure what "gimmicky charisma" your grandmother is talking about, but she sure holds it against you.
Aquarius - As the zombie lunges to sink its jaws into your shoulder, you’ll realize it’s only an trenchcoat hanging on a mopstick.
Pisces - As you snap out of your daze, you'll understand that this one joint is the only thing keeping you from yelling at everyone like Schwarzenegger in Kindergarten Cop.
Last modified on Monday, 20 January 2025
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